Ding Dong That is Wrong
Ding dong that is wrong

I'm Alex and this is my dumb blog. If you need me to tag anything for trigger purposes, or you just don't like fandom posts, or my tag for something you have blacklisted is different, anything man, just tell me and I'll make it happen. Also, my ask box is always open if you need any advice, snacks, assassination requests, just any kind of help, I could even help out with homework if you're really having trouble.


this is how Parks and Recreation explained Chris Pratt’s weight loss for Guardians of the Galaxy 

6 hours ago on October 20th | J | 114,129 notes
Though Mean Girls was rated PG-13 for “sexual content, language, and some teen partying,” that was a rating Paramount had to fight for, says Waters. “We had lots of battles with the ratings board on the movie. There was the line, ‘Amber D’Lessio gave a blow job to a hot dog,’ which eventually became ‘Amber D’Lessio made out with a hot dog.’ Which is somehow weirder! That’s the thing we found: When you’re trying to make a joke obey the rules and not use any bad words, it can actually become seamier, even.” Still, there were some things that Waters simply refused to change. “The line in the sand that I drew was the joke about the wide-set vagina. The ratings board said, ‘We can’t give you a PG-13 unless you cut that line.’ We ended up playing the card that the ratings board was sexist, because Anchorman had just come out, and Ron Burgundy had an erection in one scene, and that was PG-13. We told them, ‘You’re only saying this because it’s a girl, and she’s talking about a part of her anatomy. There’s no sexual context whatsoever, and to say this is restrictive to an audience of girls is demeaning to all women.’ And they eventually had to back down.”
don’t fuck with tina fey (via brokenclocksrighttwiceaday)
13 hours ago on October 20th | J | 78,748 notes



I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(

welp now we know the distinction between the two

13 hours ago on October 20th | J | 78,287 notes




Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me

Nothing wrong with a good dose of sheer terror at a young age

"It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written"

-Neil Gaiman on Coraline

13 hours ago on October 20th | J | 268,979 notes



The difference between learning a modern language and an ancient language is that in first year French you learn “Where is the bathroom?” and “How do I get to the train station?” and in first year Attic Greek or Latin you learn “I have judged you worthy of death” and “The tyrant had everyone in the city killed.”

1 day ago on October 19th | J | 42,099 notes



Nothing is quite as relaxing as a good game of Skyrim

My horse is on fire

3 days ago on October 17th | J | 61,280 notes
1. Do not say “I love you” if you do not mean it.
2. Do not date someone just to make another person jealous.
3. Do not cheat.
4. Do not lie, not even about little insignificant things.
5. Do not date someone just because someone else is unavailable at the moment.
6. Do not play with someone’s emotions.
7. Just be a decent fucking person.
4 days ago on October 16th | J | 211,086 notes

it probably seems like i cry over stupid shit but tbh i usually end up crying because i’ve stored up all of my upset feelings from multiple things rather than express them and then the littlest thing sets me off like spilling my drink may not be that big of a deal but when i’ve stored up that many negative emotions it feels like i busted a hole in the hoover dam

4 days ago on October 16th | J | 276,482 notes


I’m so done

4 days ago on October 16th | J | 17,270 notes

What You Crave vs What You Need

Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
Cookies: Freudian psychology.
Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
Ice: The sweet release of death.
4 days ago on October 16th | J | 123,626 notes



Notification trolling.


4 days ago on October 16th | J | 165,560 notes



Committing suicide is a crime in the US not so that we can punish the depressed, but because, if it weren’t, it would be illegal for the police to enter a home to save someone they suspected was about to kill themselves.

There has to be reasonable belief that a crime is currently being committed or is about to be committed for the police to enter private property.

This had confused me for a long time and this explanation makes so much sense!!

1 week ago on October 13th | J | 98,422 notes
1 week ago on October 13th | J | 25,804 notes


Trying to turn in an art project and your teacher says “it’s not done”


1 week ago on October 13th | J | 188,096 notes

this is my all-time favourite tumblr post


this is my all-time favourite tumblr post

1 week ago on October 10th | J | 323,090 notes